Why vegetables are better than modern life

January 19, 2007

Autumn veg box

There’s acute communication breakdown in the veg box household this week. Tinternet, mobile phones, DVD players, ikea fairy lights – everything is broken or on the blink. The only reliable things in our little house are the wireless radio and the veg box – twin pillars of stability in a crazy binary world. Sit down, turn on Woman’s Hour, start munching on an onion, and all is well.

What I particularly love about vegetables is you don’t have to recharge them, configure them, phone a technical support line in India to get them to work. You don’t have to sign-up for an 18-month unbreakable contract with your carrots. You don’t have to wait for the green light to start flashing before you blanch your broccoli.

You don’t hear a nasty electric-buzzing noise when you pick up a butternut squash. Leeks don’t embarrass you by playing ‘The Entertainer’ in your pocket while you’re on the bus home. Kale doesn’t charge you extra for eating at peak time. Spuds don’t come with a 179-page user manual in 33 languages. You don’t need a PIN to open a pea pod.

Modernity sucks. Vegetables rock. And that’s the way it is, duuuudeee.

7 Responses to “Why vegetables are better than modern life”

  1. BB's Richard Says:

    Glad to hear the new self-employed Gastropunk isn’t cracking under the strain yet! 😉

  2. crzy_amish Says:

    You are totally sane, I mean, right!

  3. gastropunk Says:

    Gurggle gurggle… dribble dribble… rock backwards and forwards in semi-catatonic fashion…

  4. Kinson Says:

    I would comment, but my cauliflower needs an upgrade before it will connect to this website…

  5. Rob Says:

    Hurrah for vegetables!

  6. Angela Thiel Says:

    I love this post! It’s Hilarious! I run a farm in Texas and stumbled across your site and so glad I did- you give new meaning to “playing with your food.”

    If it is okay, I’m going to send your link in my next newsletter to the farm members, everyone should have so much fun with their veggies.

    St. Fairsted Farm

  7. gastropunk Says:

    angela, glad you’ve enjoyed the post. i’d be very happy for you to include a link to the site from your newsletter. good luck with the calving! your farm looks beautiful!

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